Tuesday, 13 January 2015
I don't want to care any more.
I'm one of those people who feels things so deeply. I go from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows. So from being that high up, it's a damn long way to fall. I'm sick of caring. Sick of worrying. Sick of hurting.
Sunday, 30 November 2014
Stay close to me.
Have you ever missed someone you've never met?
Have you ever missed someone you've never spoken to?
Furthermore, have you ever missed someone, who isn't technically a someone?
I have.
His name is Harry Potter.
For those of you who don't know, I, Emma Louise Lynch, am a self proclaimed Harry Potter addict. My love goes as far as to have a Harry Potter tattoo on my left wrist (the Deathly Hallows symbol with a ribbon around it that says "I've got something worth fighting for". I have a Harry Potter shrine in my room. I have three copies of the books, all with different covers. I have figurines, signed frames, photos, VHS's of the movies, "Making Of" books - you name it.
I remember my first experience of Harry Potter. I was probably about 8, and I went with my best friend at the time to see Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone at the movies. I think I knew almost immediately, even at my young age, how important this was going to be for me. I remember counting down the months, weeks, days 'til the next movie and in preparation reading and reading and re-reading all the books. I was hooked.
It has been over three years since the last movie came out, and over 7 years since the last book. I still remember exactly where I was on both of those days. On the day of the final book release, I was fighting with my mum. I can't remember exactly what for, but she was livid with me. I remember asking her to take me down to Target so I could get Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and she did, begrudgingly. I was freshly 14. We got home, and she continued her bout of anger and ignored me for the entire day. I sat in the lounge room chair and read that book cover to cover for 12 hours straight. I cried. A lot. I was so glad for the book for the opportunity to take me to a different world so I could forget about what was going on in my life, even for just a little while. This is not the only situation Harry Potter has helped me through.
I remember my first year of high school, when I went to a school with 3 grades, only knowing 8 people, none of which were in any of my classes. They filtered off and made new friends, but I didn't. I was always the fat girl that no one wanted to talk to or be friends with, not because of anything I did, but because kids are cruel. I remember going home every night and crying. I remember feigning sick all the time just so I didn't have to go and face it. My only solace was Harry Potter. I read the books over and over, and went on Harry Potter websites when we were working on computers, which they mocked me for too. Fast forward a few years and I have friends, but the mental damage inflicted has embedded itself in to my head. I was suffering from severe depression, and more often than not, accompanied with that is self harm and suicide attempts. There was one night where I swallowed a heap of pills chased by straight alcohol, which wasn't enough to kill me, but it was enough to make me very sick. Laying in bed, feeling sorry for myself, there was only one thing that helped. Yeah, you guessed it. Harry Potter. Even at my lowest point, when I had no one to help and no where to go and nothing, Harry Potter was always the one consistent thing. The one thing I could rely on. The one thing at the end of a shitty day when nothing could ever possibly be okay that helped. It might not necessarily be reading the books all the time, but it was looking up quotes, looking up interviews with the cast, looking at pictures, researching spells further, whatever it might have been. I cannot even count the amount of times that Harry Potter has saved my life.
As you read above, even on a really shitty day, Harry Potter saved me. I felt more attached to the characters than some of my own family. And even though the final book had been released, it still didn't feel quite over just yet, because I still had the movies. The day they announced they would be splitting the final book into two movies was the best day of my life. "Yes" I thought to myself "It's going to last even longer." But all good things must come to an end.
So when the final movie came out, my emotions were running high. My city didn't do a midnight screening, so I went to the earliest session available - 7am. I couldn't eat. I felt sick. This was the end. The end of the only thing that kept me going. The end of the thing that had saved me numerous times over. I think I sat on the edge of my seat the whole time. I knew what was coming, and each second moved closer to the end...
And then it was over.
It was done. The credits started to roll, and every body started moving, but not me. I couldn't. I turned to look at my friends and just burst into tears. Sobbing. Hysterically. People around me didn't know what the hell was going on. "Who's this queer girl sitting in the middle of the cinema crying over Harry Potter?" I wish they knew.
So it's been three years, and I'm doing okay. Apart from nights like tonight, when I go on tumblr and it'll be the occasional Harry Potter gif set that will stab me right in the heart. I miss him. I miss Harry. I miss Ron. I miss Hermione. I miss Snape. I miss Sirius. I miss the Great Hall, and Potions class, and magic. They're not even tangible enough for me to miss, and that's the hardest part. This phenomenon is such a huge part of my life and there's a hole in my heart that will never be able to be fixed. And it hurts, every. single. day.
Have you ever missed someone you've never spoken to?
Furthermore, have you ever missed someone, who isn't technically a someone?
I have.
His name is Harry Potter.
For those of you who don't know, I, Emma Louise Lynch, am a self proclaimed Harry Potter addict. My love goes as far as to have a Harry Potter tattoo on my left wrist (the Deathly Hallows symbol with a ribbon around it that says "I've got something worth fighting for". I have a Harry Potter shrine in my room. I have three copies of the books, all with different covers. I have figurines, signed frames, photos, VHS's of the movies, "Making Of" books - you name it.
I remember my first experience of Harry Potter. I was probably about 8, and I went with my best friend at the time to see Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone at the movies. I think I knew almost immediately, even at my young age, how important this was going to be for me. I remember counting down the months, weeks, days 'til the next movie and in preparation reading and reading and re-reading all the books. I was hooked.
It has been over three years since the last movie came out, and over 7 years since the last book. I still remember exactly where I was on both of those days. On the day of the final book release, I was fighting with my mum. I can't remember exactly what for, but she was livid with me. I remember asking her to take me down to Target so I could get Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and she did, begrudgingly. I was freshly 14. We got home, and she continued her bout of anger and ignored me for the entire day. I sat in the lounge room chair and read that book cover to cover for 12 hours straight. I cried. A lot. I was so glad for the book for the opportunity to take me to a different world so I could forget about what was going on in my life, even for just a little while. This is not the only situation Harry Potter has helped me through.
I remember my first year of high school, when I went to a school with 3 grades, only knowing 8 people, none of which were in any of my classes. They filtered off and made new friends, but I didn't. I was always the fat girl that no one wanted to talk to or be friends with, not because of anything I did, but because kids are cruel. I remember going home every night and crying. I remember feigning sick all the time just so I didn't have to go and face it. My only solace was Harry Potter. I read the books over and over, and went on Harry Potter websites when we were working on computers, which they mocked me for too. Fast forward a few years and I have friends, but the mental damage inflicted has embedded itself in to my head. I was suffering from severe depression, and more often than not, accompanied with that is self harm and suicide attempts. There was one night where I swallowed a heap of pills chased by straight alcohol, which wasn't enough to kill me, but it was enough to make me very sick. Laying in bed, feeling sorry for myself, there was only one thing that helped. Yeah, you guessed it. Harry Potter. Even at my lowest point, when I had no one to help and no where to go and nothing, Harry Potter was always the one consistent thing. The one thing I could rely on. The one thing at the end of a shitty day when nothing could ever possibly be okay that helped. It might not necessarily be reading the books all the time, but it was looking up quotes, looking up interviews with the cast, looking at pictures, researching spells further, whatever it might have been. I cannot even count the amount of times that Harry Potter has saved my life.
As you read above, even on a really shitty day, Harry Potter saved me. I felt more attached to the characters than some of my own family. And even though the final book had been released, it still didn't feel quite over just yet, because I still had the movies. The day they announced they would be splitting the final book into two movies was the best day of my life. "Yes" I thought to myself "It's going to last even longer." But all good things must come to an end.
So when the final movie came out, my emotions were running high. My city didn't do a midnight screening, so I went to the earliest session available - 7am. I couldn't eat. I felt sick. This was the end. The end of the only thing that kept me going. The end of the thing that had saved me numerous times over. I think I sat on the edge of my seat the whole time. I knew what was coming, and each second moved closer to the end...
And then it was over.
It was done. The credits started to roll, and every body started moving, but not me. I couldn't. I turned to look at my friends and just burst into tears. Sobbing. Hysterically. People around me didn't know what the hell was going on. "Who's this queer girl sitting in the middle of the cinema crying over Harry Potter?" I wish they knew.
So it's been three years, and I'm doing okay. Apart from nights like tonight, when I go on tumblr and it'll be the occasional Harry Potter gif set that will stab me right in the heart. I miss him. I miss Harry. I miss Ron. I miss Hermione. I miss Snape. I miss Sirius. I miss the Great Hall, and Potions class, and magic. They're not even tangible enough for me to miss, and that's the hardest part. This phenomenon is such a huge part of my life and there's a hole in my heart that will never be able to be fixed. And it hurts, every. single. day.
“It is important to fight and fight again, and keep fighting, for only then can evil be kept at bay, though never quite eradicated.”
Tuesday, 25 November 2014
Sick and Twisted.
I have a confession to make.
As you've already probably guessed by the title, it's something very sick and twisted, and I almost don't want to talk about it, but I have to get this off my chest. You're probably thinking, what the hell has this random girl on the internet done? Well, it's probably not what you think. You see, it's not anything that I have done, or that anyone has done. I'm just gonna say it. Here goes... I'm jealous of my boyfriend.
Probably not what you were thinking, right?
I have been dating my wonderful boyfriend, Hayden, for around 3 and a half years now, and in this time, I have began to notice some things. Like how he, no matter what he eats or does, always seems to be able to maintain a trim figure. Like how he has always been around a family that has a lot of money. Like how he is never sad. Like how he never suffers from crippling anxiety. Like how he always has enough money. Like how he always has a lot of luck. Just to name a few things. See, I told you it was sick and twisted, huh?
Because any normal person would admire these qualities in a male. He's hard-working, genuine, loving, giving, happy and the sexiest man I know. However, for someone like me, who has always been fat, is never happy and never seems to have any luck coming my way, these traits are downright enviable.
That's not to say I don't admire these traits because trust me, I know I have the best man out there. In return though, I constantly feel inadequate. I feel like I should be skinnier, trying harder, doing more, earning more, more, more, more.
I feel like I need to clarify that he does NOT in any way make me feel this way intentionally. No, that all comes from the demon that lives inside me that says things like "Oh, you're feeling happy? Let me fix that." and "Oh, you had a good thing happen to you? That's all for another 2 weeks."
I feel so bitter and I shouldn't.
As you've already probably guessed by the title, it's something very sick and twisted, and I almost don't want to talk about it, but I have to get this off my chest. You're probably thinking, what the hell has this random girl on the internet done? Well, it's probably not what you think. You see, it's not anything that I have done, or that anyone has done. I'm just gonna say it. Here goes... I'm jealous of my boyfriend.
Probably not what you were thinking, right?
I have been dating my wonderful boyfriend, Hayden, for around 3 and a half years now, and in this time, I have began to notice some things. Like how he, no matter what he eats or does, always seems to be able to maintain a trim figure. Like how he has always been around a family that has a lot of money. Like how he is never sad. Like how he never suffers from crippling anxiety. Like how he always has enough money. Like how he always has a lot of luck. Just to name a few things. See, I told you it was sick and twisted, huh?
Because any normal person would admire these qualities in a male. He's hard-working, genuine, loving, giving, happy and the sexiest man I know. However, for someone like me, who has always been fat, is never happy and never seems to have any luck coming my way, these traits are downright enviable.
That's not to say I don't admire these traits because trust me, I know I have the best man out there. In return though, I constantly feel inadequate. I feel like I should be skinnier, trying harder, doing more, earning more, more, more, more.
I feel like I need to clarify that he does NOT in any way make me feel this way intentionally. No, that all comes from the demon that lives inside me that says things like "Oh, you're feeling happy? Let me fix that." and "Oh, you had a good thing happen to you? That's all for another 2 weeks."
I feel so bitter and I shouldn't.
Thursday, 20 November 2014
Life Updates.
Well it has been a hot minute since the last time I blogged.
Here's a quick summary of interesting life events that have happened since the last time I posted:
I'm hoping to get back in to blogging but you just never know with me. What you can do if you're interested is check out our YouTube channel. We've actually stuck with it which is amazing and it's something we really love doing. So you can check us out there, where we'll be doing vlogmas!!!
Here's a quick summary of interesting life events that have happened since the last time I posted:
- I got a job at Woolworths in April
- Bert and I booked a trip to America in June for the 3rd of March next year
- I turned 21 in July and had a huge Great Gatsby themed 21st
- I started a Business Administration TAFE course mid-July
- I got a second job at Autograph Fashion (a plus size shop) at the end of July
- Probably the most important thing to have happened over the last 8 months is that I FINALLY GOT MY LICENSE!!! I got them early September, first go and have been driving around everywhere ever since. I cannot even explain the amount of freedom I feel like I have now
- Lincoln and Carissa got married at the end of September and I was a Bridesmaid and Bert was a groomsman and it was a beautiful ceremony
- I then quit Woolies earlier this month due to the fact that my supervisor shifts were taken off me for no reason and I didn't get any shifts for 6 weeks, all the while getting double taxed at Autograph making next to no money
- Last weekend was Bert's 21st and he had a party at his house with some close mates and it was a really fun night
- Bert had also quit his job earlier in the year, got a job at Dick Smith and quit that 2 weeks ago and is now working in an Abattoir.
I'm hoping to get back in to blogging but you just never know with me. What you can do if you're interested is check out our YouTube channel. We've actually stuck with it which is amazing and it's something we really love doing. So you can check us out there, where we'll be doing vlogmas!!!
Tuesday, 4 March 2014
Wednesday, 19 February 2014
Exciting news!
So if you guys read my very first post, you'll know that I have a YouTube channel that I've been wanting to do more on, but kind of lacked the confidence. For months and months I was suffering from lack of ideas and not knowing where to start. Then I was watching a "Boyfriend does my make up video" and decided, hey! Bert and I could do that!
So recently we decided to do it Jenna Marbles style and get drunk while we did it, and it was so much fun. After he did my make up, I did his. While doing these videos I had the utmost intention of using them for my beauty channel. However, I started thinking. I was thinking about all the fun and funny videos we could do that would be able to draw people in with our quick wit and infectious personality. What better way to do YouTube then do it with the man I'm in love with? And thus, the Bert and Emma channel was born.
We are intending on doing a lot of funny videos, challenge videos, vlogs and monthly favourites, as well as whatever we feel compelled to do! This is something that we are both very passionate about and we're extremely excited to get started. We're still tweaking with the editing, equipment and lighting, but we have to start somewhere, right?
If you would like to see what we get up to, go give us a subscribe over on our channel which I'll link here.
Be excited for big things to come!
So recently we decided to do it Jenna Marbles style and get drunk while we did it, and it was so much fun. After he did my make up, I did his. While doing these videos I had the utmost intention of using them for my beauty channel. However, I started thinking. I was thinking about all the fun and funny videos we could do that would be able to draw people in with our quick wit and infectious personality. What better way to do YouTube then do it with the man I'm in love with? And thus, the Bert and Emma channel was born.
We are intending on doing a lot of funny videos, challenge videos, vlogs and monthly favourites, as well as whatever we feel compelled to do! This is something that we are both very passionate about and we're extremely excited to get started. We're still tweaking with the editing, equipment and lighting, but we have to start somewhere, right?
If you would like to see what we get up to, go give us a subscribe over on our channel which I'll link here.
Be excited for big things to come!
Saturday, 15 February 2014
Wow.
Hey guys!
It's been a long time. Too long, in fact. I won't bore you with excuses, instead, I'll give you a synopsis of what's been going on these last few months.
November brought with it not only a broken laptop, but increasing crippling anxiety in regards to my job. I was in that job for 6 and a half years and I loathed every second of it. So when I finally got offered an out, an opportunity somewhere else, I took it and I didn't look back. I took a job at a car accessory and parts place, being completely honest with the boss that I didn't know anything about cars, nor did I drive, and they hired me anyway. I was also honest in telling them that I was going away at the start of December for a music festival, and they hired me anyway. So I started the job on the 25th of November with high hopes and high morale. On my very first day, it was all turned upside down. I accepted the job under the impression that I would be working the checkouts, but I was then told I would be working the floor, and the floor only. Looking back, I should have said something there and then about my displeasure of being forced into a situation I was not only uncomfortable with, but had no knowledge of what I was selling. After about 2 weeks, it was time for my holidays, and Bert and I traveled to Melbourne for the very first time to go to Stereosonic, which is a music festival. We were in Melbourne for 5 days, and it was wonderful. The music festival went for 2 days, and we had 3 days to relax and shop and enjoy somewhere where we'd never been before. We came back from the festival on a wednesday, and then I had 3 more days off before I went back to work. After going back, I thought things were going pretty well - I was starting to get the hang of my section (which was seat covers and accessories) and I felt like things were picking up and going well. However the days dragged. As you can well imagine the pace of a grocery store compared to a car shop, the pace was the hugest adjustment I had to make. I was working full time hours on my feet every single week, which I had never done before. Then one morning, right before Christmas, I woke up with a spur on the back of my ankle. I was in excruciating pain and couldn't forth, and then, unwillingly and unfortunately I had my first sick day of my new job. I felt absolutely terrible, as I wanted so badly to make a good impression, but the pain was too much to bear. It was a wednesday that I had off, and I had thursdays and fridays off every week so I had 3 days to recover, and I did. Then came Christmas and Boxing Day. I was meant to work Boxing Day but on my first day one of the bosses asked if that was okay, and I told her I had made plans, and if there was any way I could swap it with anyone I could swap with, and if not, then it wasn't that big of a drama and I would be happy to work it. So I did swap with someone, and every one made out as if it wasn't a worry. After my Christmas break, things gradually went downhill. I still needed a lot of help, as I came into the job knowing literally nothing. I could tell people were getting more and more frustrated with me everytime I had to ask a question. They were all short, unhelpful and rude. Then came my "one month review". Now I won't bore you with the specifics, but to cut a long story short, they told me that I seemed like I was struggling and wasn't picking things up very well. I thought this was bizarre, because if that had noticed that, then why wasn't help offered? Why wasn't more training offered? When I brought this up, they said "You haven't asked for it" and at that stage, I was pretty much really unhappy with the whole place. It was bringing me down that they had blatantly seen my struggling and not so much as offered to help or drop the rudeness when I did ask for help. I had just come from a job that treated me like shit, and I wasn't about to go through it all again. The crippling anxiety then reared it's ugly head, and I had a few more sick days as I would wake up vomiting and shaking and crying just at the thought of the day I was about to have. I didn't fit in, everyone was unwilling to help and it made me numb. I was so happy to leave my previous job that it damn near broke me to go into something that treated me the exact same. On what was to be my last day at the job, I was standing in my section and I was overcome by an anxiety attack. I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't stop shaking. I couldn't be at the place anymore. So I told my supervisor I needed to go, and I needed to get out. I knew there and then I needed to quit. So I came home from work and cried and cried in bed for hours - for what was I going to do without a job? Without an income? Around lunch time, the boss called me and I talked to him for 10 minutes on the phone. We then organised for me to go have a meeting with him the next morning. So I woke up with not even the motivation to do my hair and makeup, and I went in. I considered asking if I could stay on as casual, but in the meeting I realised that I couldn't be there any more. So the meeting finished, I left and that was that. For the first time in 7 years I was unemployed. That happened toward the end of January. It's now the 15th of February and not much has changed. I still don't have a job, but I'm trying to be okay with it. I'm only 20 years old, and I've been working for 7 years with no break. No time after school to figure out what I want to do. I should not be suffering from things like this already. So I'm having what I'm calling "Emma time" where I'm going to reflect, and work things out and figure out my life. While I am a bit worried about not having an income, I'm enjoying having a break from everything for a while. It has been desperately needed, it's just unfortunate that I had to go through so much to realise that.
On a brighter note, I had a wonderful Christmas, brought in the New Year with my wonderful boyfriend, got an iPhone 5, got a MacBook as a surprise present off Bert, made plans for the future and just spent a wonderful 3 days with him for our anniversary and Valentines Day where I was surprised with a gorgeous silver ring with a pink stone in the shape of a love heart.
Well.
That turned out the be a longer spiel than I had planned. Oh well. Now you know my story. Hopefully now that I have a lot of spare time on my hands, you'll be seeing a lot more of me!
It's been a long time. Too long, in fact. I won't bore you with excuses, instead, I'll give you a synopsis of what's been going on these last few months.
November brought with it not only a broken laptop, but increasing crippling anxiety in regards to my job. I was in that job for 6 and a half years and I loathed every second of it. So when I finally got offered an out, an opportunity somewhere else, I took it and I didn't look back. I took a job at a car accessory and parts place, being completely honest with the boss that I didn't know anything about cars, nor did I drive, and they hired me anyway. I was also honest in telling them that I was going away at the start of December for a music festival, and they hired me anyway. So I started the job on the 25th of November with high hopes and high morale. On my very first day, it was all turned upside down. I accepted the job under the impression that I would be working the checkouts, but I was then told I would be working the floor, and the floor only. Looking back, I should have said something there and then about my displeasure of being forced into a situation I was not only uncomfortable with, but had no knowledge of what I was selling. After about 2 weeks, it was time for my holidays, and Bert and I traveled to Melbourne for the very first time to go to Stereosonic, which is a music festival. We were in Melbourne for 5 days, and it was wonderful. The music festival went for 2 days, and we had 3 days to relax and shop and enjoy somewhere where we'd never been before. We came back from the festival on a wednesday, and then I had 3 more days off before I went back to work. After going back, I thought things were going pretty well - I was starting to get the hang of my section (which was seat covers and accessories) and I felt like things were picking up and going well. However the days dragged. As you can well imagine the pace of a grocery store compared to a car shop, the pace was the hugest adjustment I had to make. I was working full time hours on my feet every single week, which I had never done before. Then one morning, right before Christmas, I woke up with a spur on the back of my ankle. I was in excruciating pain and couldn't forth, and then, unwillingly and unfortunately I had my first sick day of my new job. I felt absolutely terrible, as I wanted so badly to make a good impression, but the pain was too much to bear. It was a wednesday that I had off, and I had thursdays and fridays off every week so I had 3 days to recover, and I did. Then came Christmas and Boxing Day. I was meant to work Boxing Day but on my first day one of the bosses asked if that was okay, and I told her I had made plans, and if there was any way I could swap it with anyone I could swap with, and if not, then it wasn't that big of a drama and I would be happy to work it. So I did swap with someone, and every one made out as if it wasn't a worry. After my Christmas break, things gradually went downhill. I still needed a lot of help, as I came into the job knowing literally nothing. I could tell people were getting more and more frustrated with me everytime I had to ask a question. They were all short, unhelpful and rude. Then came my "one month review". Now I won't bore you with the specifics, but to cut a long story short, they told me that I seemed like I was struggling and wasn't picking things up very well. I thought this was bizarre, because if that had noticed that, then why wasn't help offered? Why wasn't more training offered? When I brought this up, they said "You haven't asked for it" and at that stage, I was pretty much really unhappy with the whole place. It was bringing me down that they had blatantly seen my struggling and not so much as offered to help or drop the rudeness when I did ask for help. I had just come from a job that treated me like shit, and I wasn't about to go through it all again. The crippling anxiety then reared it's ugly head, and I had a few more sick days as I would wake up vomiting and shaking and crying just at the thought of the day I was about to have. I didn't fit in, everyone was unwilling to help and it made me numb. I was so happy to leave my previous job that it damn near broke me to go into something that treated me the exact same. On what was to be my last day at the job, I was standing in my section and I was overcome by an anxiety attack. I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't stop shaking. I couldn't be at the place anymore. So I told my supervisor I needed to go, and I needed to get out. I knew there and then I needed to quit. So I came home from work and cried and cried in bed for hours - for what was I going to do without a job? Without an income? Around lunch time, the boss called me and I talked to him for 10 minutes on the phone. We then organised for me to go have a meeting with him the next morning. So I woke up with not even the motivation to do my hair and makeup, and I went in. I considered asking if I could stay on as casual, but in the meeting I realised that I couldn't be there any more. So the meeting finished, I left and that was that. For the first time in 7 years I was unemployed. That happened toward the end of January. It's now the 15th of February and not much has changed. I still don't have a job, but I'm trying to be okay with it. I'm only 20 years old, and I've been working for 7 years with no break. No time after school to figure out what I want to do. I should not be suffering from things like this already. So I'm having what I'm calling "Emma time" where I'm going to reflect, and work things out and figure out my life. While I am a bit worried about not having an income, I'm enjoying having a break from everything for a while. It has been desperately needed, it's just unfortunate that I had to go through so much to realise that.
On a brighter note, I had a wonderful Christmas, brought in the New Year with my wonderful boyfriend, got an iPhone 5, got a MacBook as a surprise present off Bert, made plans for the future and just spent a wonderful 3 days with him for our anniversary and Valentines Day where I was surprised with a gorgeous silver ring with a pink stone in the shape of a love heart.
Well.
That turned out the be a longer spiel than I had planned. Oh well. Now you know my story. Hopefully now that I have a lot of spare time on my hands, you'll be seeing a lot more of me!
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